Humm..... Am I so Sure?

     Have you ever had one of those days when you just can't seem to get anything right? Everything I pick up or touch lands on the floor and doing anything takes a hundred times longer than it usually should. Man, what's up with that? This is where I begin to ask myself, am I so sure I know what the hell I'm doing here?
     Life shouldn't be so complicated, should it? At least I didn't think so, well most of the time anyway. Then again, there are days just like the ones that I've been having of late where nothing and I mean nothing seems to go right.
     So much for planning ahead, right? I know, I know that life isn't fair and nobody can have stuff go right all the time, but man this is getting so crazy. I"m beginning to think that my blond hair color just might be my affecting my I.Q.
     Okay, may not, it was just  thought. However things go for the next few days will probably determine whether or not I believe that I'm taking the right path. I mean do we ever know what the right path is anyway. Hummmm, let me think, NO!
     So, now that I have figured out that I actually don't know what the freak I'm doing, perhaps tomorrow will present something a little more calming for me to deal with. 
     Hopefully not everything that I touch will hit the floor. Maybe I won't fall on my ass while trying yoga, which by the way I sux at!!  And just maybe I can have a minute or two to breath deep, take a second to find a little balance on both feet and just enjoy the fact that while my life AIN'T perfect, it's the best thing that I've got going on.
     In the end, I may not be so sure of a lot of things. I don't know the answers to all of the whys in the world. I can't make world peace happen or cure diseases or hunger world wide.
     What I can do is start with one small smile, laugh at myself (cause I'm pretty funny) and remember that I am sure of one thing, that I love as much as I can, when I can and never forget to be grateful for every second I am blessed with.
   As for yoga, well maybe not today.Till next time, have a great day, a better tomorrow and lots of love everyday. Peace people-it isn't that hard... I am sure of that :) :)
CJ

When, when, when?

When, when, when, will my time come to an end?
 When, when, when will it be now or later than ?

How, how, how shall it all become my last event?
How, how, how does it all finally get spent?

Now, now, now does it all close out it's quiet resent?
Now, now, now shall I pitch a whole new life tent?

When,when,when, is my life fully content?

Never too much

There can never be too much of love or life. We have only a short time to love one another, to embrace our lives in sweet harmony. 
I pray that whatever may come your way, even if it is in sorrow, that you and I alike can feel the beauty of love.
If we ever stop thinking that there's too much love, perhaps we will end up with no love.
That would be the sadness of situations for all of mankind.
Never too much, love. 
Never.......

:)
CJ

Maybe today

You know when I'm feeling down and over loaded by life I try to stop and think that maybe today is the day that I can do something for another person worse off than myself. We all get to the point where we begin to let every negative situation effect us way too much.
Well, if I'm still here, breath and participating in life, then I also have a chance to enhance someone else's life as well. There's no reason to let life get you so down that the world around you becomes your prison.
Shake it off, stand tall and go full speed ahead with everything ounce of strength you've got.
Hopefully at the end of your day you can find one thing that actually made you happy in the process.
I hope that all persons can find a little more sun shine than cloudy days. Just try to stay positive. You never know where life will take you.
Have an awesome weekend world!!

Feeling the crunch

I love my family and goodness knows that I try to be there when they have needed me. Is it just me or does anyone else ever think that maybe your family has just lost their minds? Okay that's where I'm at right now.
I have a situation with my father and siblings that appears to have no resolve. So exactly what do I do now?
My father is 83 and in fairly good health, but we never know when that dreadful day will come when we loose one of us. It haunts me everyday knowing that I am not allowed to speak with him. You can say that after two years of this craziness I'm feeling the crunch.
I pray everyday for my family, my 2 sisters and 2 brothers that won't speak to me. Somehow one sister got control over the entire family and is calling the shots. How in the world did we end up here?
What do I do when I've tried everything to work this out to no avail. There is nothing that I can offer to make things better, for the one person who started all of this has determined that I am not worthy enough to have any contact even with my aging father.
Time passes us by very quickly and no time that passes can ever be recovered. I am lost as to what to do now that I feel the crunch of time slipping away. As much as I have tried to repair whatever the damage that I have been blamed for, one person, my sister,  won't let it go.
I feel the crunch everyday and it hurts my soul to think that I might lose my father without even seeing him again. How do we get around this?
I long to see my family, but not even I am willing to be pushed around by someone who can't apologize to a child for something that was done wrong to them.
Is this my burden to bear? Perhaps so since I have been pushed aside and have been warn to stay away.
Sometimes feeling the crunch of a situation that burdens our soul with sadness is just the way of life.
I suppose all I can do is to keep praying and believing that all will end well.
Perhaps at some point someone else will feel the crunch enough to let go, let God.
Perhaps........

See me now, see me later?

I'm so curious about thinking in terms of people seeing each other as long time friends. I have many friends that I have known  for many, many, years, I mean years. Often, we come together for God only knows why as friends. We meet in different places to visit and talk about all the things that have effected out lives.
So what happens when that friendship suddenly changes? What really goes on with our minds and hearts when that one special person is no longer a part of your life? Can you really make changes that bring you back to that place of oneness?
There's no way that I can tell other people what happen to many of my closest friends now that they are no longer a daily concern for me. How did that happen? When did that special friendship all of a sudden disappear? Was it just slowly or did I not even take notice?
As I have grown older I try to stop long enough in my busy chaotic life to weigh that loss. There are several friendships that I placed a high level of love and concern on, yet they are not the same for me now. My question is why? What happen?
We can never know the changes that will come our way. There is no way to predict tomorrow, so having said that I must realize that whether I understand it or not things change.
People become so busy with their jobs, family or outside activities that sometimes that one special friend that you have takes last place in our daily lives.
For me, I hope that now that I have a few moments to breath, or so I hope to, that maybe I can find a way to reconnect to those friends lost to me. I have still have many close friends, but the thought that I may never see or speak to that someone special again just leaves me a bit hollow.
Often times I say to people that what I want most from family and friends is to see me now for perhaps later you want get to see me at all. If something where to suddenly happen to me I don't ever want any one that I loved to have that awful feeling of I should have called her, but now I can't.
WE should take it upon ourselves to stop long enough to connect to those that mean the most to us. After all will they be able to see you later?
If not today, then when?
Go in peace and reconnect, today just might be the day that your friend from the past is now once again in your present, and that's a blessing in itself.

Acceptance

Acceptance of myself is like climbing a mountain in all ways. I have never climbed a mountain before and finding those skills that enable me to tackle the task of mountain climbing is a necessary tool. Each day my life is presented with the tools that will help me learn how to accept who I am. It is with these tools in hand that I hope to become a better person.
As I grow on a daily basis, it is my solemn hope and prayer that changing for the better will also enable me to treat and love others in a greater capacity.
Acceptance, it is about loving yourself enough to love others greatly.